continued, and i have made movies since then and speeches and gotten very heavily involved in promoting the environment and so on, but nothing is the same anymore because my personal life has been destroyed. so now -- destroyed because of stupidity, of bad decision making and this huge failure on my part and made a lot of people suffer because of that. so all of that is always on my mind. >> have you been taken aback by the extremity of some of the reaction? people treating you almost like a mass murderer, how dare you commit this hideous crime, when actually, you did what millions of men have done. i'm not excusing it, defending it, anything. i'm just trying to put it into some kind of context, that at times, you've been so battered by this. have you felt it's been too much or not? >> you know, i never tell the press what to write and what to say. they do what they do and i do what i do. and you know, i think that it is my doing. they didn't create this story. no one else created the story. i created it. it's my doing. i did not ever experience the severity that you just explained, but then again, you